Feeding My Target Obsession
 
Today, I mourn because I have no reason to go to Target. Nearly every day since we have been home with our new addition I have had a need to visit the friendly confines of Target. Today, I have no such need. I have spent pretty close to a grand at Target in the last couple of weeks easily. On top of that, I have bought probably one of everything there. I have bought baby clothes, newborn diapers, breast milk bags, t-shirts, shorts, sheets, beer, you name it I have bought it at Target in the last week or two. My favorite experience is the trip where I have to buy 3 things, toilet paper, cat treats and the dreaded maxi pads (yes, the biggest bane on a mans Target shopping list). Picture yours truly in his Monday best, standing all by himself in the women’s products aisle, AKA the sanitary napkin. So, there I am pondering the instruction of please get a “super” pack. For those that have been in this aisle, it is a veritable wall of tampons, maxi pads and other feminine products. Deciphering from one to the next is like a bad rip off of Where’s Waldo. The entire aisle is blue and white and the descriptions are less than helpful because each one makes the next seem pitiful. You have the Always Regular, then the Maximum, then the Super Maximum, then the Ultra-Super-Duper-You-Could-Dump-A-50-Gallon-Drum-Of-Whatever-Liquid-In-Me_And-I-Will-Not-Leak-I-Promise pack. The catch is that you get 3 pads in the lastly described package versus 15 in the prior. Then you have the choice between brands as they contain similar yet uniquely intriguing ways of identifying ones liquid retention capacity. Throw in the 20 people that stroll by the aisle watching me pontificate over my pad decision and you have what is sure to be a classic portrait of modern day husbands. The kicker of this whole entry is that I am quite happy to run and go navigate the treacherous women’s products aisle because it feeds my addiction to florescent light, things I do not need and droves of people. So remember, go “super” or don’t go at all. P.S. Happy B-day Jay-Go!!!
Monday, July 9, 2007